you've been warned

Due to the graphic nature of this post, anyone with a weak stomach should turn away now. Also, if you know me, or would use nice words to describe me, I would suggest that you never read any of ths posts I've made recently. What is this weblog turning into anyway?

Anyway... I have been sick sick sick sick for the past couple of days. I haven't even been able to keep down a glass of water. So I was thinking that there really should be a tablet that you can take in this situation that will sort of neutralize the stomach acid and make it so that it won't burn up your throat. I've figured out a name for the product- "Vomints"

Thanks.

wondering

I find myself thinking of certain things. And then my mind jumps to
wondering about things that are none of my business, probably. But
maybe they are.... but maybe I don't want to know, though. Probably
not. Definitly not. No, thank you.

So I go back to the original thought and then I think about how I
wondered, and if what I was wondering about is not true then why can't
I think of the things I was thinking in the first place, you know?

Glad to have got that out somewhere. It's a load off my mind.

brain problem

This is my second attempt at an entry today. I'm in a mood to ramble, but I am sure that an in depth rundown of disinfecting the kitchen isn't a very good topic. But what am I talking about? I talked about plucking nose hair in the last one.

But that is pretty much all I did yesterday. Cleaning the kitchen, not "nose-scaping". I love making up words.

That's what happens when you have whatever disorder I have. The forgetting what things are called problem. I read that it was a symptom of migraines, and that was a relief. I do a lot of "international hand symbols." Jamie is pretty good at deciphering them, as this deal has been going on with me since she was a baby. Sometimes our conversations turn into a game of charades.

I remember the first time it ever happened to me, I was about 19 or 20 and my friend wanted directions to the college restroom. I was trying to point out a lady in a green striped shirt. The word green was in my head but I kept saying blue, then I switched to red and then yellow. I don't think I ever said green... and my friend decided she could hold it.

Frustrating. Freaky. Fascinating insights into the life of a stranger?

It doesn't really happen that often. Just when I have a lot going on, I guess. yeah... that was fun to talk about. :|

Maybe I should have written about cleaning the microwave instead.

apologies in advance. this one is gory.

I don't know if anyone looks at this one. I've been writing more in my Myspace weblog, and I get, like, nine views a week. I just wrote this huge entry over there, fascinating stuff. But after I hit submit a few more things popped into my head.

Isn't it weird how you could be having the worst, most depressing day- crying and everything, but as soon as you see that you've got an eyelash in your eye, you can't force out a tear. You can think of your grampa dying or your dog getting attacked by rattlesnakes... and nothing. When all else fails you can do the tweezer thing. There's no shame in plucking out a nosehair... most of the time.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom was getting ready for work and (I'd like to think maybe she had something stuck in her eye) she put tweezers in her nose and poked an artery. Holy crud, the blood was just shooshing out in a rhytmic fashion. And in my family we've got bleeders. She didn't manage to get it to stop until she was a minute away from her work, 45 minutes later.

It reminded me of this time- I was probably about nine years old- when my little sister Joanna went into my older sister's room and found a green plastic bracelet that had one tiny break in it. She got a great idea to put it in her nose and run around the house screaming, "I'M A PYGMY!!! I'M A PYGMY!"

Now, my older sister didn't like this very much, so she walked up and pulled the braclet out of Joanna's nose. Our entire front hall was covered in little puddles of blood that would spurt out in time with her heartbeat. Freaky, educational, and kind of funny.

I've still got a truckload of housework to do. More Laundry, more dishes, and I might try to change this lightbulb.

dogs are people too

My dog won't come inside. She's decided that she wants to pretend she's a person and sit in a lawn chair. I bet she's wondering where she can get her paws on some cigarettes. Sometimes I try to put a hat on her, because she seems like she would be a hat wearing sort of person, but she has no patience for that sort of thing. Scarves and handbags are fine though. I can't find shoes the right size so she just walks around carrying one size 9 pink three inch heel.

crazy with the blogthings

It's one of those days where I had nothing to do but take personality tests.

You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You Are 10% Boyish and 90% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Butterfinger

They call you sticky fingers for a reason!

What Kind of Candy Are You?

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self. No doubt, you are all about making good music... But what really gets you going is having an over the top show. Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 7 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

technical

I changed the fan thing in the computer last night. There are two problems though. First of all, the new thing is smaller than the last one so there is a gap that we need to put a plate over or something. Second, the computer is making a high pitched "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" sound now. I feel like Pete Townshend. "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

I did need help with one bit of the process- I couldn't remember what you were supposed to do to not get shocked so I had to ask Mike. At one point, I felt a tingling in my fingers when I was trying to put my hand toward the back but it could have just been because I really like colorful wires.

shaky head

Ever get, like, a flood of really strong opinions in your head all at once that you feel compelled to shout at the world?

I'm having that happen to me right now. I could write them out in this moment. But would they make sense? Probably not. This is something that might need to be written the old fashioned way (with a hot pink gel pen in a sparkley purple spiral notebook with a kitty on it) before I go spilling it out to "the whole world."

"The Whole World" meaning the two or three people who might pass by here every so often thinking they might find another picture of a puppy or a cake. LOL!!!!

See? yeah...

big stars on tv

Today my dog, Marilyn, turned on the tv. Then she changed the channel from yoga to Magnum P.I. I guess she likes Tom Selleck. The bad guy on the show was Ted Danson, who met his maker by having a boat back over him. Magnum even shouted, "Yo! Ted! Look out!"

But it was too late. The boat ran him over.

This got me to thinking about what I would do in that situation. If I was in the water and a boat was going to back over me, I think I would try to dive down as low as I could to avoid the boaty things tearing me to shreads. Pehaps that wouldn't help though, because Ted Danson probably would have tried that, too.

If I was on the other side of that situation, in Tom Selleck's shoes, I don't know if I could have told Ted to watch out. I mean, the guy just threatened him with a gun and then some big metal hook deal (I think it's known as an "anchor" to people who hang in the boating circles)

The other day I saw that Lifetime has started playing the episodes of the Golden Girls where Blanche, Rose, and Sophia bought a hotel. Bea Arthur had left the show at that time and was replaced by Cheech Marin and Don Cheadle. Talk about star power! Why did the show end soon after they came on? In yesterday's episode Dorothy came back and wanted Sophia to come live with her, and then Sophia ran away and checked herself back into Shady Pines. Nobody knew where she went until the taxi driver (Jack Black!) came to the hotel to return Sophia's purse.

ask ashley/ enrique

The SQL is down at the place I've got this site at. So the board isn't working right now. Stinkin' kids testing out their stinkin' scripts without trying them on their own stinkin' computer first. (Imagine I sounded just like "Ask Ashley" right then. oh! I need to add-) MAN!!!

When I was in junior high, there was this boy named Enrique that I would talk to at lunch sometimes. I didn't talk very much to anyone, but for some reason, I could talk and talk to Enrique. I would say things like, "Look Out, Enrique. There's a group of boys coming this way with bats. They look like they are mad at you!" or, "Your puppy was just run over by a truck."

And Enrique would just smile at me. He had such a nice smile. "Your mom was just arrested for shoplifting!"

He would just smile and nod.

i never even eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

So I am washing the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher so I can wash them again, and everything smells like peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There was nothing on any of the dishes, nothing in the sink, the sponge thing was clean. But for the 15 minutes or so, that's all I could smell.

I go upstairs while I am waiting for someone's egg pan to soak, turn on the computer and feel something sticky on my arm as I rest it on the desk. I somehow had peanut butter and jelly on my forearm! So I disinfected my arms like I was going in to operate on someone and came back to type this whole thing out.

Great story, I know.

weird brainy thought thing

I woke up too early this morning, just before 6am. The weirdest thing was happening in my head. I had about 15 different thoughts, stories, theories going through my head at once, running one on top of the other like a room full of televisions all turned up loud and on different stations.

It's two and a half hours later now, and I couldn't tell you what any of the thoughts were. I remember that some of them were in very fast motion. It was a bit like the cast of the Gilmore Girls had all decided to practice their lines at the same time.

Happy Birthday Zoe!

Happy fourth birthday, Zoe. I'm sure it will be much better once you are awake.

babysitting - online PDA

I watched the twins this weekend and we watched the Pee-Wee Herman show 3 times. I can't get the song at the end out of my head.

I'm hungry, but I don't feel like eating anything. I don't want to look at macaroni and cheese. I don't want to think about looking at macaroni and cheese. I could eat Cheerios. 14 years ago, I never wanted to look at, think about, or smell Cheerios ever again.

My 5 year old niece had a long conversation about religion with me yesterday. I guess her grandmother must have had a long conversation about religion with her recently. God is like Santa Claus right now. He knows whenever you say a bad word.

I don't feel like talking about **** **** **

That will be edited out.

When I first went online and found an online community with people to interact with through email and chat rooms and I had a clear picture up somewhere, because I was young and foolish, there was this guy that I will call Travis because I don't remember how to spell his name. Travis always seemed to be a kindly superhero-acting internet boy, helping people with their computer questions and stuff.

Anyway, he explained different types of email accounts, set me up with AOL IM- I was a such a 'noob'... Next thing I know, I am on his fwd FWD Fwd Re: re: FWD: list, and he's sending me his daily dirty joke email, he's checking in on whatever I am doing... but that's not really the story I was meaning to tell. I finally got him to back off by getting an account at Tripod and putting up my own personal homepage with pictures of my pet tarantula, Trevor. "Ah! I am afraid of spiders" was his last IM to me. Heehee...

So Travis was looking for an e-mail order bride. He soon fell deeply in love with a gal that I will call Vicki, because her real name doesn't go very well with "Travis." Vicki was 8 years older than Travis, but he was cool with that because she reminded him of his older sister that he bought a house next door to.

Soon the board or email list or whatever it was back in those days was filled with love letters and virtual flowers. Her friends were so happy for her. But some people were like, "get a room!"

And that's when Travis flipped out and launched obscenity filled posts to everyone. He was nuts. She would swoon. It was disgusting.

Whatever became of Travis and Vicki? I don't know. I started ignoring anything they had to say. And from then on, whenever I started to see any Travis and Vicki-ness starting anywhere, I'd try to have nothing to do with any of it. Especially if I didn't have anything to do with the people involved in the first place.

confusion

Yesterday, Jamie's boyfriend came over and they wached movies while I was babysitting three of my nieces. The kids were fascinated and kept going part way down the stairs to spy. At one point, one of the kids forgot what Jamie's boyfriend's name was and so I told them, "Ricardo."

Now, Zoe, who is almost four years old and has trouble pronouncing certain letters said, "He's not Retardo!"

This made me laugh very hard and I had to go in the bathroom for a moment. During that time, Zoe and the five year old twins ran down and started yelling, "Retardo! Retardo! Brandi told us to call you that!"

So the poor kid left the house thinking that I sent the children down to insult him. I'm really not that kind of person. I hope Jamie can clear this up.

interesting quiz

Your Political Profile

Overall: 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Crystal...

I just sent the address of my website to my sister Crystal. Maybe she is going to look at this...

Hi Crystal! You're only the second person ever to read this!!!1

ha ha

answering that important question

are you ugly?? F-ing hot

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

i wonder what this dream means

I had such an interesting dream just now. I just need to write it down somewhere. I could go to a bbs and creep out people who sort of ‘know’ me, or I could type it out here where nobody is ever going to read it. Right away I need to say that I’ve been sick this week. That might explain why I had such an odd dream and why I was taking a nap in the middle of the day.

So, I’m about to sit down for my daily piano practice (odd, since we don’t have a piano anymore and this was in a house that I’ve never seen before. I never dream of being in the house I live at.) When I saw that I got a big package in the mail. It was from this guy, Karl, who recently sent me a video of his standup. Anyway, I open it and there’s tons of stuff in there. There was a large painting, a shadow box filled with Little Mermaid figurines, Some letters, old report cards, a ‘sour cream and onion chip’ themed plastic food playset, all sorts of stationary and small toys with fluffy white kittens, a calendar with people that got paint flicked at them. I’m sure all of those things mean something in the dream dictionary :roll:

Anyway, as I am opening all of this stuff I can not stop laughing. I’m laughing and laughing and there’s just more and more stuff and I find out there is a party happening on the other side of the house. I go in there for a moment and see all of these strangers. There was this kind of creepy little mullet guy following me around. Everyone was giving me such strange looks, like they were up to something.

So I go back to the other side of the house and it is empty. The stairs on this side have been decorated with flowers and candles and the lights are low. Romantic. I try to walk up the stairs as far as I can and when I can’t go any higher- because of all of the flowers and stuff, I peek over and see the party is still going on. I decided to go back downstairs and hide out.

As I got about four stairs from the bottom, I put my right hand on the bannister and swing up. I start to fly! I flew around the empty part of the house. But the house isn’t a good place to fly so I go outside. I think I lived in San Francisco. I try to swing on the steps outside but it’s not working quite as well. Then I think to myself, “I am dreaming. I can fly as high as I want to.”

Then I try again and I start doing tricks and going really high, above the houses. I tried not to be seen by people, but after a while I started to get a little full of myself and my new powers and I wanted to show off. So I went around to the back of the house and landed in the middle of the party.

The creepy mullet guy says, “aha! I knew who you were when I saw you! I have finally found you!” and he gets this jar filled halfway with water that has a couple of guppies swimming in it, he explains that I am a magical guppy that took on a human form after I flew out of his jar.

“No,” I say as I take out a jar of my own, “this is your guppy!”

And I look in the really large jar and, sitting in a couple inches of water, there is one of those distorted giant-eyed Chihuahua’s that you see in those crazy calendars.

Then I woke up. The end.

crazy alignment problem

So I added a wide picture in the last post, and since there's that sidebar on the right, I was left a giant blank space between the post and the picture. I thought I'd go take a personality test or two and post the results so that everything would look clean and in order.

The first test I took was at one of the "serious" places. I got my results and thought, "there's no way I want anyone to see how antisocial I am!"

So I went to the crazy "anyone can put a quiz up here" places and I couldn't even make myself finish any of the quizzes today. Maybe it's because I have a cold and I am cranky. Maybe it's because I just found out I am crazy. :roll:

gmail

I think Gmail is great. My favorite part is how you can put multiple labels on a single message. I might have one of the most organized email accounts around. And one of the saddest.

I don't get very much mail- I'm signed up for a weekly newsletter or two, and sometimes I get notified when my message board crashes. My Gmail mostly holds letters that I've written to myself. Sometimes it's a long rambling journal entry and sometimes it's a link to page I might want to visit in the future.

Here's a glimpse of my "All Mail" page:



As you can see, I even reply to myself. :(

caffeine

Yesterday I was watching Unwrapped on the Food Network and they were showing how they make Sunkist orange soda. In one of the first steps this guy poured a 5 pound bag of powdered caffeine into the giant mixer. And my first thought was, "I wonder how much you could get on the street for that?"

I even said it out loud... to my mom!

Speaking of the Food Network, I've changed "Brandi's Happy Inside the Closet Door of Happiness" to "Brandi's Side of the Bookshelf of Happiness" and (of course) there is a picture of Jacques Torres in there! I love that guy.

yeah, yeah, i'll say something about michael jackson.

I think it's Thursday. I'd have all sorts of wonderful things to write about if I would have watched television at all this week. I'm really getting tired of seeing Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise everywhere. Mostly Michael Jackson.

I'd like to address a comment that I've heard a million times since this all came out in the early 90's, "There is no law against sleeping in the same bed with 12 year old boys."

You know what? There should be. It should be against the law for anyone to sleep in the same bed as a 12 year old boy. Not a parent, not a creepy millionaire, not a teacher, not a 12 year old girl. Nobody.

spanish

I only have three more migrane pills, so after one and a half more headaches I may have to amputate my head.

Good morning! Wasn't that a happy way to start off the day?

I've decided that I am going to have to finally break down and really learn Spanish. I watch a lot of television in Spanish- novellas, talk shows, the news, that little bug guy... I can handle pretending that I know what is going on. But The Family Feud style '100 Mexicanos Dijeron' is getting more difficult to watch and I can't take it anymore. Where are those tapes?!

This morning when I checked my account status at this webhost, I found that I had 6.66 days of credit. Evil. I added about three and a half days worth of credit with a long post about cartoons. I need to stick with what I know.

hair color

fascinating!

R Kelly/ McDonald's

I am hoping that R Kelly puts down his weapon and falls in love at first sight with the lady's husband in part two of that "In The Closet" song. Then he can sing about how he's coming out of the closet. :roll:

A couple of weeks ago, McDonald's started putting out ads for their new healthy menu of water and fruit. Water and fruit! You have that at your house! Why do you need to go to McDonald's to buy something you can carry in your purse? I am sure part of the trendiness of buying water and fruit at McDonald's is that you get to pay 6 bucks for something that is practically free.

the greatest personality test ever

I took a truckload of "which ___ character are you?" quizzes just now. I was Chef from South Park, Sofia from the Golden Girls, DJ from Roseanne, Chrissy from Growing Pains, The Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz... but this was the best answer so far:

What Adventures In Babysitting Character are you? Compsognathus Measuring in at an average of approximately 1 meter in length, you are a tiny, agile dinosaur that lived during the late Jurassic period. Your name means “pretty jaw” and some consider you to be an early relative of Archaeopteryx, which is frequently regarded as the first bird.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

strip search

Even with my extreme dislike for reality television, I need to stop and watch a few minutes of some of these shows when I pass them by to remind me how dumb they are. VH1 has started this show called Strip Search and they've been showing it a lot over the past few days.

At first it seemed that the gal who does the top 20 or 40 weekly countdown who used to be on MuchMusic was travelling around making young men strip to their underwear in their front yards. :yawn: :lol: But yesterday, I saw that the guys she picked were all living in a house together- and this held my attention for at least 8 minutes.

There's this one guy- Jimmy or Johnny- he's nuts! He's 'calling out' the younger and more attractive boys. It was late at night, and the fellas were all tired, but Johnny still had to practice and didn't know why the others weren't going along with him. There was almost a cat fight.

Then I turned it to a cooking show.

stripcreator.com

Some people at one of my favorite BBS's made some comics at this place so I decided to jump on the bandwagon.

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/brandi

reality television

This morning I saw a commercial for the "first reality hunting show" and it made me breathe a sigh of relief knowing that over the years when I've gone by the hunting channel and seen deer and turkeys and squirrels being taken out, it's all been fake.

Reality television is out of control- and there's a whole slew of new people who are going to have shows where the cameras follow them around just because they are richer or more "beautiful" than the rest of us. One of the most pointless one's I've seen recently is called "I Married A Princess."

There's this lovely woman- she's royalty, I guess- and she's got this beautiful husband and between them they have eight or nine beautiful kids. They live in a beautiful mansion with beautiful maids and beautiful cats. The show consists of them smiling and opening presents and then walking along the beach.

:( / online dating/ cal ripken jr.

This morning I was flipping the channels aimlessly when I saw that the the cast of Without A Trace was on the morning show on CBS. I only saw the last 30 seconds so that was kind of a bummer. The guy that I like from the show was doing the most talking at that point. Man...

I missed it because I was watching a segment on the Today show about online dating for people over 50. Why was I watching that?! I guess it might be that time in my life when I need to pull an Anna Nicole- so if you are a very rich single man over the age of like 80 and you would like to try online dating with the chance for marriage (and did not watch the warnings on the Today Show), drop me a line. I'm young (to you!) and I don't talk very much! Failing eyesight is a plus!

On a completely unrelated note-

Why does Cal Ripken Jr. wear Orioles jerseys wherever he goes? He had a long and illustrious Hall Of Fame career, and he is very recogizable. What's wrong with a nice suit?

Happy Birthday Crystal!

It's my sister Crystal's birthday. I think she knows I have a website (but never visits it) so there is actually a chance that she would see if I put up a picture of her. I'm thinking that if my box of family pictures wasn't, like, six steps away in my bedroom and there wasn't a pile of papers I would have to move off the top of the scanner, I would scan and post this really flattering picture from Christmas 1985 where she was listening to a Bon Jovi record.

Crystal is the one on the left in the ancient Christmas picture a few posts down.

I need to make a card and a cake!

okaaay...

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

spyware/counting/dogs eating toys

ahhh! I've got spyware on my computer and switching to Firefox only helped a little bit. I think there may be a few other things that I need to do to get it off. It looks like I need to take a trip to someplace like http://www.pchell.com.

My three year old niece, Zoe, has been counting this morning. "twenty-one, twenty-three, twenty-eight, twenty-leven, twenty-eight, twenty-leven... twenty-six, twenty-nine, twenty-leven, twenty-three, twenty-sixteen, twenty-nine" She might need to work on this skill.

My dog keeps eating toys that are left on the floor. I try to warn Zoe that Marilyn will eat anything that is left on the floor- but everyday another horse or puppy or polly pocket gets it's legs bit off. I just took a tiny My Little Pony out of the dog's mouth. I'm thinking that I should just throw it in the trash. That way nobody will see that it got ripped apart. What's better? Or worse? Seeing your pony all chewed up or losing one of the 30 purple ones that you have? These are the sorts of problems you face as a parent.

I used to lose all of my toys like this when I was little. The thing was, I didn't have a dog. hmmm.

Did you know, according to Zoe, the Powerpuff Girl's dad is named "Professor Antonio" heehee.

or i can talk about what i watched on television...

there's something...

I was watching the beginning of this Lifetime movie, the first ten minutes or so, it had the guy from Without A Trace that my mom likes. He seemed like the perfect guy, in the first 10 minutes he met and dated and married the girl from Saved By The Bell who wasn't in the stripping movie. Showgirl movie... what's the difference? Anyway, I
knew something had to go wrong but I left the room and didn't come back until there was about 15 minutes left in the movie. It turns out, the Without A Trace guy was a serial rapist! This was especially hard on the Saved By The Bell girl because she was raped two years before she met him- she confessed this on the date when he proposed to her in the first 8 minutes of the movie. Anyway, she had a plan, and with the help of (a paralyzed!) Major Dad and the neighbor lady's husband from Grace Under Fire, she caught him in the act.

You'd think that guy would still be in prison- but no! There he was two minutes later, on the case of a missing marine biologist. It was weird because this was a show from earlier in the series and I had seen the second part of that story this season. It involved twin brothers, one was a killer. So I kind of knew what was going to happen.

I only realized what a good show Without a Trace was this past year. So now I have to go back and watch the reruns. Because I am crazy like that. Oh... I need to leave the house more often.

sorry

Hmmm.......


still nothing. :(

The only thing you can do in a situation like this is take some online personailty quizzes. It turns out I am still a conspiracy theorist- I took that one again. I was thinking Where have I seen these questions before? Here are some more results:

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK] You are a Square! You are a total dork. The pocket protecter and thick-lensed glasses give it away. Try watching some popular TV.. Get yourself some fashion sense already! On the plus side, no wait hang on, there is no plus side! Nerdsville, population YOU! Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Now, really... do I need to watch "popular" TV? I'm happy with the shows I watch, thank you very much. That reminds me! It's Saturday night and I need to see which of my crime dramas are on tonight. heeheehee. I guess I am a nerd.

it's almost official

I've nearly run out of things to say.

welcome to the world!!!

Happy Birthday Gracie!

Happy Birthday Joanna!

It's my sister Joanna's birthday. I don't think she knows that I have a website,
so she can't object to me posting up a picture of her as a chunky three year old. :)



She's the one on the right. Awwww.

Happy Birthday!

sesame?

What is a sesame? What does it look like? We've all seen sesame seeds, but what would happen if you planted one?

*EDIT*



aha! I just needed to do a little research.

channel surfing jackpot

Yesterday I was enjoying an 88 cent microwavable pasta meal and aimlessly flipping channels on the giant TV (one of the great changes that happened to the place from when Crystal and Mike moved in- they have a big tv that they couldn't move up the stairs.., hahaaaa!) I stopped it on the Jim Rome show, whatever it's called now, Nick Bakay was talking about Terrell Owens.

Now, I don't know anything at all about "T.O." or football in general. But I stopped and watched it. Nick Bakay, though, he was one of the Angry Beavers! And the cat on Sabrina... I think he's funny when he does that betting thing on ESPN. But I found myself wondering why I was watching it... Until... they go to the guy sitting next to him. TODD ZEILE!!! The most handsome baseball player in the history of baseball and all of sports!!! OMG Squeal-ey girl talking in dolphin language thing!!!1!

What did you expect? This is all about how I saw a cute boy on TV. He's got an interesting hair style going on now. He was also wearing a shirt with a huge collar. But he was still very easy on the eyes.

baby watch 2005/cake

My sister, Crystal, has been on bed rest for the last week. They had originally scheduled her to go in and have her baby on May 25th, but they'll probably have to take her in during the next week or two. What is she worried about? Whether or not somebody will tape 24 for her.

I need to make a cake tomorrow for my Mom's birthday and I think it will be the best one ever. I actually have something planned in my head before I start! I have to go to the store and get a few things. Cocoa, milk and peppermint extract. I should check to see if I need some powdered sugar.

Fascinating stuff, eh?

a couple of things i need to get off my chest

If you need to put up a giant disclaimer on your webpage that says, "WE ARE A COMEDY SITE" maybe, just maybe, you need to rethink how funny your comedy is. If you really have a sense of humor, you don't need to explain it to anyone. It goes without saying.

I don't care about the intimate personal lives of people that I don't know. This goes for knowing the gossip about Brad Pitt or the ill-fated young lovebirds on the bbs. I tell you this, I tell you I don't know and it's none of my business... but you keep going on and on. Do I know you? No! I don't know anyone involved.

no crazy searches

Phew! The month is halfway over and I haven't had any visitors from Verne Troyer searches. That makes me very happy. I did notice a sort of spammy trick in the searches though- people, or robots, go to a search engine and look for a certain string of words that will show what sites have a certain kind of guestbook and then they'll go in and put up links to their porn/med/gambling sites. HAHA! I took down my guestbook last week!

maybe it's for the best

The other day I realized the first email account that I ever signed up for- at hotmail- was being used for "spoofing". No wonder whenever I checked it I had 1000 new "returned mail" messages! I haven't really used that address for a few years, but I check it every so often just to see if it's still there.

I know spoofers don't need your password to use your address but I decided to change it anyway. The problem is... I have no idea what I changed it to. I can't ask for the password to be reset because I can't remember where I said I lived when I signed up to begin with. It's a good thing I don't get real email at that address.

personality quiz time

I only think it's a conspiracy that I couldn't figure out what I was until I pasted the code onto the page. :

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK] You are a Conspiracy Theorist! Holy cow! You actually did an online quiz? Little did you realise that the information you gave us is being sent to an unknown government agency for evil use against you! Don't try to leave, we are already watching. More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Here's another... informative, with a Harry Potter twist :)

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

I've taken a few more today...

http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/simpsons/

"You are Lisa Simpson"

http://quizbox.com/personality/test65.aspx

"The Artist
You love freedom and want to follow your heart's desires. You might not be at your best when dealing with other people. Once you are given the opportunity to work your chosen way, your gift will shine. A tip for you is not to concentrate too much on your own work, but widen your focus and consider the opinions of other people."

http://quizbox.com/personality/test12.aspx
"The Animal Test
Here is the analysis:

A kind of person you will be attracted to in a real life situation is those who are unbridled and free
In the process of courtship, the approach that makes you feel irresistible is being creative, so you're not bored.
The impression you'd like to give to your lover is stylish.
One reason that would make you break up with your partner is his or her being emotional. If they're moody, you won't know how to please them.
The kind of relationship you'd like to build with your partner is that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner. A long-lasting relationship that you can grow with is important.
Would you commit adultery? Society and morality worry you. You wouldn't do anything wrong after marriage.
About marriage, you are afraid of marriage. You think it would take away your freedom.
About love, at this moment, you always thirst for love. You will do anything for it, but you don't fall in love easily."

nap time/introspection

So, I made a coffee cake and took a nap. I had a crazy dream and explained it to a friend in a private message. That was kind of dumb... to just write to someone and give an unsolicited detailed description of some bizarre dream. That guy probably thinks I am a kook!

I am kooky though, I guess. I don't know how other people see me, or if they see me. I'm sure their visions of me are much different than the one I have of myself.

i don't know what i am doing

I need to do something productive with my time. I've had the last few days off and I think I have all of next week off as well.

Maybe I should write. Or learn how to knit. Maybe I should make a cake. Or go back to bed.

broken window mystery

When we got home last night we were talking about what a great day it had been. Mom went to the park with the kids and had a swell time. Then She won $100 on a lottery ticket on the way to Fantomas. Did I already sort of say how great it was? Did I say how much I love Trevor Dunn? :oops:

Anywho, we're talking for a while, Crystal is saying that she had to get up and sit with the dogs because they had been going nuts for the last 45 minutes. And then we hear glass falling, not breaking, falling into the house... what was that? Jamie looks over at the window and there is blood on the blinds!

We lift the blinds and one of the panes in the window was broken. The glass was going both ways... quite a mystery. Carlos, the giant chihuahua, has blood on his paw from a fresh cut and Jamie got a cut from checking everything out. My theory was that a bird flew into the window (the bird poop was a clue) and cracked it. (A robber would have busted the window in the door, right?) Carlos barked like crazy, Crystal came down stairs and held the dog. When we pulled up he ran to the window and pulled down the blinds like he usually does... and he got cut. Poor little guy.

fantomas/new bbs

I went to the Fantomas/the Locust/Trevor Dunn's Trio Convulsant show last night... what a great time. I'd go into detail about how fantastic it all was but I'd probably start rambling and wind up all girly and sqeauly and drooly. :D A lot of people were taking pictures. People who take pictures are funny.

The bbs that I usually go to (bungle fever) is down. I've tried going to some of the other boards that some of the BF members also go to, but nobody has been around. I really feel like talking about nothing, so I've put up a new board here on my space. I don't have a name or a theme for it yet. It's very, very generic right now. Sign up and talk to me. I am sooo lonely. :(

dream journal

I had a dream that I was staying with my grandparents. I don’t know who they were. Anyway, just as I was about to go to Wal-Mart with my pocket full of cash, an old community college boyfriend came to pick me up for a date. He seemed loud and obnoxious now. So, I picked out an outfit and I was ready to go but then my sister came in and gave me a bulky sweatshirt with a hood that my mom wanted me to wear. Then the dream turned into a poker game with classic television stars.

When I woke up I wondered what ever became of that boy I used to go out with. "Maybe I should google him", I thought.

Then I thought, "No. I would only find out that he was trampled in a tortoise stampede in 1997. And that would be kind of a bummer."

what the h-e-double hockey sticks?

Or, as my niece would say, "H-E-B-every-hockey sticks"

I'm a compulsive writer, sometimes I write things and I don't look back. A few of these things make it onto this site of mine. According to my web stats, someone just asked jeeves a science question and the poor person was directed to an old "story" I wrote a couple of years ago called Frogs and June Bugs.

It's hard for me to believe that I am not on drugs after reading that one!

spring forward

I don't think I'm liking this whole Daylight Savings Time this year. I'm too tired, and I don't know what time it is. I don't know what day it is! I don't know what in the heck is going on. I'm about to start venting here. Please stop me.

This is hardly the place for me to bellyache about how I wish that people would just ask me when they need me to do something for them- or at least give me a little bit of notice before they tell me what to do. I don't mind being a doormat as long as I can see the feet coming toward me.

Stop me before I start complaining. ;)

like an angry old lady with hedge clippers

I've switched over this whole weblog thing to a different blogging tool. The archives were just too funky at the last one.

I've republished a lot of the posts from before, but I did do some crazy pruning on things that were even less important than what's up now.

weblog spam

I've put up a page dedicated to all of the spam comments that I've received since putting up this weblog. It's called Weblog Spam. (Catchy title, eh?) All the bizarre comments, none of the links to online poker sites!

hitler at a theme park

Usually if I have two things to say I will just squash them into one post. Like "found the camera/martin mull." But putting this title and the one from a couple of minutes ago together might give people the wrong impression of me. LOL.

I found this screenshot from Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. I had the game on pause and saw this man stuck in the pillars by the front gate of the park. I though it was silly and had to capture it. Upon closer inspection, I found something more sinister than a guest-eating wall:

i guess i don't hold grudges well

While rearranging some old stuff, I found this entry in an old weblog. It's actually about somebody:



I don't remember who I wrote it about! It's not like I go around disliking people willy-nilly either. The only thing I remember was it was a girl. And there was no real reason that I could see beforehand to not like her, but I got a creepy feeling anyway.

desktop wallpaper

These young men have heavy things to think about. Like where to find soap and a comb. Oh, kids today!



There are some words on there...

"and will your love light burn me baby
burn a hole right through my heart"

It's not My Chemical Romance, it's the other one...

this is so funny because it is probably true

Which generic quiz response are you most like? Indecisive You are indecisive. Well, probably. I mean, you could be. Or maybe you aren't. I'm not sure.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

what a shock!

Momhe was Ed Wood. I swear I didn't answer to sway my results a certain way-

Which Tim Burton character are you? Pee-Wee Herman There's a lot of things about me you don't know. Things you couldn't know. Things you shouldn't know.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

men with chainsaws in the backyard

that's how I woke up.

There are at least three out there. And one of them stopped and alluded to an odd relationship between Pedro and his own mother. Later he said Pedro has "the skills of a 70 year old woman."

Watch out, man. Pedro has a chainsaw and may turn on you.

I hope it doesn't take long for them to put up this new fence.

underneath your clothes

...there's a manless story!

My niece is singing along to her walkman. I can't wait for the next song.

I'm not a girl...
not yet a woman.
All I need is time
A moab in at is mine.
A wide dan between.

Now it's Sum 41. She won't sing Love Shack for me. :(

i don't know why this is so funny

It looks as though Willie Randolph and Mike Piazza get along pretty well.

cake

I made my first cake of the year yesterday. I think I am going to put up a cake gallery. Most of them are pretty silly.



I think this one would have turned out a lot better if 1.) The little cake that made the bus would have come out of the pan properly, and 2.) I knew how to write on a cake! I used crazy can thing that Crystal bought a while back. It's only good for people who are skilled in the art of spray cheese.

This one comes in second for most time spent decorating a cake. The Powerpuff Girls cake took the longest.

baseball!

The first game of Spring Training between the Mets and the Nationals is going to be on ESPN today. It's kind of hard to describe, it's not really like "Christmas" exciting... maybe it's more like "that day late in summer when you have to go into High School and get your schedule and your picture taken for your ID card" exciting. You get to see who the new people are. You get to see if there are new cute boys and if the cute boys from last year are still alright or going through an awkward phase.

I'm such a girl... I really do like the game too. And the mets home uniform, the one with the black shirt. heehee.

should i care about this?

Should I care about Lindsay Lohan's dad? Is it really huge news when he's arrested for this or that? I'm more interested in the life of Mary-Kate's ex-boyfriend's second cousin's neighbor. That guy is headed for trouble!

Tom Cruise has a new girlfriend. A sweet, pretty young girl who's been romantically linked to Enrique Iglesias, Mark Walburg, and a whole bunch of other guys I can't remember. This is super important news... for some reason.

The SBC Yahoo! homepage has a great system of putting up the newest breaking story evey so often and pushing the others down on the list. Here are the top stories of the moment:

• Papers Allege Lohan's Dad's Death Threat (this one has a picture of Lindsay and a bit of description- because it's the most important, of course!)
• Pope Rushed to Hospital With Flu Relapse
• VIDEO: Brides Battle Over Discount Dresses
• Rocket-Fuel Toxin Found in California Breast Milk

interesting valentine

My sister "Momhe" gave me this very unusual tin full of chocolate shaped cars. *EDIT* that should read "car shaped chocolates" * It's just the silliest thing ever, don't you think? Who would give someone a Bill Elliott NASCAR valentine? I've been wondering about this. Would a man give this to a woman? A woman to a man?

My mom came up with the answer, I suppose because she thinks like a mom- it's for a young boy! It never occured to me. I grew up in a house full of sisters and every Valentine's Day we would wake up and get candy from our dad. (we knew, though, that it was always our mom who bought it) Sons need candy, too! And what better way to say, "you're a special little man" than a decorative tin featuring one of the coolest drivers around.

I don't really know anything about nascar, but I am guessing this guy is like the most popular dude that all the guys want to be like and all of the girls love.

I'd have to say that is one of the two strangest NASCAR items I've ever seen. There's this rug that I see at Wal-Mart all of the time. And they must not be very popular because the pile never gets any lower. It's a rug, about 4' x 1' 6", shaped like a car. I don't remember the number but it is the Viagra car. Now... who would need a Viagra car rug, and more importantly, where would they put it? In the front hall? Next to the bed?

state of the website address

It's still at http://brandice.trap17.com hahaha!

Oh, things are always so much funnier when you are hopped up on smarties! I haven't written anything over here for a while. I have been focusing all of the typing of "my thoughts on stuff" efforts over at the Trap 17 message board, where the 'posting-for-hosting' rules have gotten a little (a whole lot) more strict.

My mom bought 20 bags (probably around 20 pounds) of candy for a dollar last week. 10 bags of kiddie mix and 10 bags of smarties alone. So, when I am not eating smarties or trying to figure out some kind of craft I can make with them, I've been trying to see how many pieces of dubble bubble I can comfortably fit into my mouth at once. Pehaps instead of saving up for web hosting I should save up for a trip to the dentist!

I've am absolutely stunned by the amount of traffic this site is getting from people looking for wav files or pictures of Verne Troyer. I've put a disclaimer on the index of my site, "You're not going to find what you are looking for... you sick, sick person, you."

I signed up at myspace.com a couple of weeks ago as sort of an experiment. I am pasting in some odd blog entries from a long forgotten weblog. I have one friend. (Besides the default guy that everyone gets) Today I got a message from a man who went to the same high school as me, "Do I know you?" He said.

"Probably not." was my answer. I am not sure I was a very memorable person back in the day. Unless you remember the kids who walked around looking at the ground who knew all of their friends by their shoes.

My little call for help in the post below this one is still open. I think I have four people lined up... but I haven't talked to anyone about it for a couple of weeks so I don't know. I should just start sending out words to people and maybe I'll get this done by May.

want to help me with a project

I wrote this poem recently that I feel needs to be heard rather than looked at. And I was thinking that it might be more interesting if it wasn't just me reading it. If you've read any of my stuff, this will make sense- I was hoping that I could get some volunteers to read a few lines or words each.

If you are interested in being a part of this, send me an email ( brandi.h@gmail.com ). All you need is a microphone hooked up to your computer and the wav recorder thing.

cringe

and speaking of things that make you want to rearrange your brain in drastic ways so you can forget what you've seen- last night I watched some of the newest Surreal Life. The whole part where Verne Troyer was drunk... and he was doing something to Peter Brady (my first love)... and then he was naked peeing off the side of his scooter onto the floor... God I need a pill or something to erase the memory! That was one of the most disturbing things I've seen in a long time.

old commercial

You know that commercial that’s been out a few years where the man tells his wife that he finished the internet? He's got AOL or something, and it's so fast that he's seen everything.

I'd divorce that guy. I would not want to be anywhere near anyone who had seen the entire world wide web. Think about it... If I saw every website and every picture... man, I'd want to have a lobotomy!

a weblog with pictures and stuff?

I haven't posted pictures in a while. I should get on that. I'll probably just put up another picture of my Toon Town mouse critter.

I've been so hooked on that the past couple of days. I figured out the way to win in the Sellbot Factory. You have to go it with people who have a bunch of points and follow them around. And that part where I got lost that time? You have to hop over the fence to the floor below after you've jumped on all of those jumpy button things.

All day long I have been such a slacker, playing a game for 10 year olds. It's very addicting.

Glimpse into my head (it's not going ot make sense!): I wonder what time Crystal has to work tomorrow. Mike works from 1-10, so I am going to be able to sleep, maybe. Unless Crytal has to go to work at 9 and Mom has to work at 11... then the day will be, like, from 7:45-whatever time Crytal gets off work + 1 hour.